Category: Life

• Fighting the Inner Hollow

  

  Heartbreak after heartbreak,

  Disappointment to despair,

  Affliction and loss;

  all events that lead to the singularity of hollowing.

  It’s as though a part of your emotional and spiritual spectrum has gone missing or suppressed to the darkest depths of the lifestream.

  Where do you go? How do you break free

  When the most intense aspects of you have been locked up and chained, cursed to await a judgment that may never come.

  It keeps you locked away from those you love despite keeping you safe from your most dangerous reflexes — reflexes that may also help you survive.

  The barriers are like walls that refuse to break. Sealed by the universe like some punishment usually reserved for the most vile in existence?

  Is this my fate, to be hollow, restrained and neutered of any true inner vigor? Have I been sentenced to a life of numbness out of some false sense of chasing safety?

  Time will tell, although I fear its answer won’t be a kind one but one that is crueler than any foul beast I’ve ever faced.

  11/16/2024

  emotion, hollow, numb, poetry, ron322, suppression

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• Living in Death Pt. III: The Faceless

  We Live in Death. We don’t exist and so, we are cursed to be Faceless.

  

  As Faceless as the many-faced God itself.

  There’s freedom despite the agony we have found. In not being acknowledged or beloved, we have become no one.

  I am No One.

  An assassin you cannot see or hear lurking in your shadows or habitat.

  By the time you feel us, the seventh face, which is death, is all you’ll see.

  Time brings us all to the same place. You can’t shut your ears or close your eyes to it. Its cold embrace will consume you into its abyss. To never be seen or heard from again.

  It’s red blade will ensure your destined death lest you choose to be like some of us.

  Living In Death. Never existing. Faceless.

  No one will mourn you. No one will remember you.

  Even if you survive, who will call you? Who will seek you out? Who will love you? Who would dare miss you?

  No one. Accursed and Tarnished, sentenced to Live in Death.

  To be seen but not acknowledged, heard but not listened to — that is what it means. To work without reward, to link fires but trapped in cold and shadow.

  That is truly what it means to Live in Death.

  10/31/2024

  allhallowseve, assassin, depression, facelessmen, ignored, liveindeath, mentalhealth, poetry, ron322, Writing

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• Living In Death Pt. II: The Unseen

  Living in death.

  

  Where you’re very much alive yet unseen.

  To the living — family, friends and coworkers, you don’t exist.

  They’ll praise and acknowledge one another but when your name is uttered, it’s as though you don’t exist.

  It’s as though nothing was expected of you. It’s as though you mean nothing.

  They will weep, they will groan and perhaps scream on your dying day but once you’re buried or your ash in the wind…you don’t exist.

  I am unseen, unsupported. No acknowledgment of any accomplishments. Endearment is a fleeting thing.

  They’ll want you to reach out but won’t respond to a message unless it involves your offspring. Unless you re-enter the fold you chose to abandon, there’s no celebration of anything in regard to your existence. Truly, a Tarnished of no renown.

  You. Don’t. Exist. You are the Unseen, one Who Lives in Death. Just a living corpse among them. An outcast whose only refuge is retreating from the very reality that will not embrace you.

  You. Don’t. Exist.

  They’ll drive near your proximity in days, have your number to call in different ways and yet the relationship stays the same. You’re as one Who Lives In Death and to them…You. Don’t. Exist.

  By the time they remember that you do, it’ll be too late. For one with a last name, you’re treated like a bastard who’s been sent away to the Night’s Watch at the wall — to never be seen or heard from again.

  You. Don’t. Exist.

  10/30/2024

  depression, eldenring, gameofthrones, mentalhealth, poetry, ron322, thenightswatch, thosewholiveindeath, Writing, youdontexist

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