Last weekend was an important one. I celebrated 40 years of my life on this earth. I didn’t fly to the land of my parents in Puerto Rico. I didn’t fly to my birthplace of Brooklyn, New York. Instead, I flew to Washington, D.C. for a change of scenery (and spent time with my girlfriend as well). It was cathartic. It also induced many moments of reflection as I flew back down to Tampa, Florida. I enjoyed soaking in the energy and vibes of the Native American Museum. If not for needing to experience other things and sights, I would’ve been lost inside that museum. Perhaps it was the Taino blood that ripples in my bloodstream but I felt connected. I got to enjoy all the Cherry Blossom trees in the capital. It was fitting. I had recently finished my playthrough series of Persona 3 Reload. The game has a starting and ending setting that involve Spring and said trees. I got to also enjoy the African American and Asian American museums, as well as viewing Capital Hill. It had been my first time since I was 12 years old. That alone gave me some sense of nostalgia. The weather was also very fitting as it was my ideal weather discussed in a previous blog entry. Last stop of notable places were the Botanical Gardens and the Air and Space Museum. I had never been to the former. The latter was greater in scale than I had recalled back in January 2011 when I visited it last.
As I traveled back home, I arrived at full circle to reflect on my life journey. It made me also ponder where my parents were at my age and where I’m at now. More importantly, I thought about their health compared to mine. I’ve succeeded them in some ways, but I also considered how much I have left to go. I’m grateful every day that I have a healthy heart rate, no sugar issues, no mobility issues of concern. At 40 years of age, I feel at least 32. If anything makes me realize that I’m 40, it’s how my life experiences changed my view of love. They also changed how I perceive parenthood, heartbreak, loss, and the struggles of life.
Leaving my parents’ nest changed me. The weight of fatherhood, heartbreaks, marriage, and divorce is significant. Being a pet parent also affects me. All of these things have changed how I view the world. They influence how I view life as it moves behind, inside, outside, and ahead of me. I’ve had women I loved come and go. I’ve seen dear friends, classmates and family members wither and die (either suddenly or through the abyss of time itself). I have watched my daughter be born and begin to grow. I’ve come to understand what loving a pet is like compared to human life.
Even with my current knowledge to alter my past… I regret nothing out of my life — mistakes and all. If a New Game Plus version of my life were to emerge, I hope that I keep all the lessons. I want to apply this learning in the future. Like Moira MacTaggart, I want to use this knowledge to make the next life more successful.
