I hope every enjoyed their Full Moon week! It started off on my 31st birthday, March 22nd! If you’re into Easter, hope you enjoyed all the egg and bunny stuff and (as of this writing) all the Easter candy clearance sales!
Having said that, this blog is geared more towards some self-reflection I’ve been having. I remember when reading Sons of Anarchy and Philosophy about how in the temple of Apollo the Sun God, it is written the age old advice, “Know Thyself”. It seems simple enough at first — knowing who you are, what makes you tick (or not) and how to bring out the best of your identity. The tricky part is when you find yourself not exactly being one way with everyone.
Here’s the issue I am finding with myself over the years and has begun to stick out a lot more t my current age — I’m not the same guy to everyone. Even in my dating days, it was never the same dynamic. If the girl was aggressive, I was passive. If the girl was passive, I was the aggressive one. I simply always made myself the opposite force out of this belief that you can’t have two of the same dynamic.
When it comes to people — whether it be best friends, acquaintances, my wife, my kid and co-workers, one would think everyone has the same idea of who or how I am (so my thinking went). Then one day, while I was mopping the gym at 3:30am, it just hit me — I’m never the same person.
Maybe I subconsciously drilled into my psyche a message Pastor A.R. Bernard once spoke regarding relational spaces and perhaps I took it to a place beyond what I intended. what my best friends get out of me is uniquely different from what my wife gets; what my daughter sees and perceives will be significantly different from what the former two see; what my friends on social media get is something a tad different while my co-workers get only but a glimpse (mainly because I’m on the clock and time is focused on the job I have to do).
It sounds normal for most — until you get to the marriage part of the equation. God knows how many times I’ve seen people write ad nauseam, “I’m marrying my best friend” or “I married my best friend”. For whatever reason, I can never have my spouse and best friend put in the same sentence. I always separated the two but as the years pass, I realize that I have to eventually start seeing the person I married as more than just someone I get a tax cut in my paycheck with or as someone whom I had a child with. We live under the same roof, we don’t exactly have much family around or friends that are immediately available to socially integrate. Eventually, you have to look towards them, in light of however different, unique and even weird you may be to each other and bond. It doesn’t always have to be mushy but sometimes, you need a voice speaking to you that isn’t the inside of your head.
Naturally, I have verbal diarrhea problems so my thing is learning to curb my tongue more and heed my queen’s voice, even when I don’t entirely agree; because somewhere in her speaking there may be some wisdom essential to the improvement of who I am.
My wife put it best, “Man was made of dust, woman was made out of a rib”. Even if you’re not into Bible stuff, let that metaphor sink in just a bit. Dust fickles, scatters and is prone to be altered (or vacuumed away) whereas bone (in contrast) is solid and deeply layered as well.
