You never want it to happen because it tends to instantly sap out your positive state of mind and without warning rips your momentum to shreds (or at least whatever sliver of it that remains) — but it’s there and while it isn’t always attacking, it’s the annoying neighbor you would get a sexual sense of satisfaction of curb stomping on the corner of the block you live on. Depression — one of life’s ways of telling you that you can’t have it your way, even in your own mind.
Even on the verge of finishing Wherever I Feel, designing new merch and being back on my fitness and workflow, depression loves to sit right next to me wherever I go, even when I say, “get behind me Satan”. It cares even less when trying to maintain harmony with the people you care about and loves to take a stroll by the corner of your room when in solitude.
To friends, family and even my fans who listen in to my music, look at my art and read my blogs and literary work, if you have been fighting depression in any of its sneaky forms, it’s okay — even the wild Ron Gunz fights this ugly beast and trying to tame it is harder than a twig trying to outwrestle Brock Lesnar.
That’s the scary thing about depression — you can work out, create, hang out with the happiest friends, have valuable time with family, bury yourself with work or distract with an awesome video game, comic book or anime — depression doesn’t even know the meaning of personal space and respect. Heck, I even dated a woman once, whom I legit cared for, who had depression and even took medication to “balance the brain”. Regardless of switching up meds in case if they didn’t work or increasing the dosage, it didn’t stop feelings of irritability or even feeling emotionally numb to where whatever decisions you made meant nothing to you, even if it meant hurting someone.
There’s ain’t a damn lot I can say to solve and beat it because some days, taming it is as easy as cracking an egg and other days, it’s equivalent to being bent over and having a baseball bat being shoved inside you — with nails!
Love,
Ron Gunz
